Friday, April 12, 2013


Things that piss me off?

This Luv's commercial.  Don't watch it if you've ever lost a baby...because if you haven't seen it yet, it will SURELY piss you off.

"By their second kid, every Mom is an expert!"

Clearly, no one involved in the making of this commercial ever lost their first baby.  I know I'm probably overly sensitive about this, but seriously.  I saw this commercial during Project Runway last night, and I wanted to throw my shoe at the TV.  Yeah.  I'll totally be an expert if I have a second child!  
Oh wait.  NO I WON'T!  Cause I never went through any of that with my first child.

Watching this...already gives me heebs, and I'm not even pregnant with a second child.  It brings about the complexity of everything after losing your firstborn.  There are people who don't know you who will tell you that your next child is your first child.  And then there will be explaining.  And complex titles.  "Is this your first?" someone might ask at the grocery store.  And then I'll have to choose my answers wisely. Would I want to get into a conversation with that person?  Or just lie to keep it simple?  But Luke was REAL.  Why would I lie?  He was a baby.  A 9 pound, 10 ounce full-term baby.  Without a heartbeat.

Fuck this.  Hearing those words on this commercial last night was like being stabbed in the heart. 

I will have no idea what I'm doing...with my SECOND child.  And that happens, Luv's.  And I'm not discounting my first child just because he was born without a heartbeat.  Sorry. 

I'm still a Mom.  Though plenty of people will say that I'm not since I don't currently have a baby.  Luv's would probably be those people.   

Part of me wants to leave a nasty comment on their Youtube page, but part of me doesn't feel like getting flamed by all the idiots that will probably reply to me...



  1. Right on.

    And there are so many other complexities, too. My firstborn died, but before her I had a newborn foster son. I had "experience" with diapers and spit up and sleepless nights. But I lost my first born. Was I still a mother when my foster son went home to his "real" mom, and I was pregnant with my "first"?

    Gross commercial.

  2. I get you on this... we have a similar commercial here in UK. With losing my second child I see it a slightly different way... more one of, yeah, I'd have loved to have the chance to be more relaxed etc. etc. but because my baby girl died I'll never get the chance. Feel your anger on this... the theme that SCREAMS out to me is... not every parent gets to take care of their children! x

  3. Contact them directly. I went off on Ralph's for sending me "personalized offers for long time card members" and it was nothing but page after page of coupons for my baby. WTF? You obviously didn't look at my shopping habits.

    You are a mom. The age of your son when he died doesn't change that.


  4. Way to go Jen!
    I totally agree with you. I'm sitting here today, trying to figure out how to answer an email from an old friend of mine who asked how I have been since he saw me last (pre pregnancy and Mia and dead baby mama) and I'm debating if I should just get the whole thing out there (would that sound too much like I'm trying to get pity? Is it weird if I just bring up my dead kid? I mean, he did ask but would it sound bad if I mentioned that I've been feeling like shit because my kid died?) or do I say I've been fine (avoiding the whole topic of my dead baby)
    I totally agree with your thoughts on this commercial. I agree, the first time I saw it it took me a minute to clue in but once I did I wanted to throw something at the TV too.
    You are always, always Luke's mama, and he will always be your firstborn.
    You're a rockstar, mama
    sending love to you